My Stapelia gigantea is never going to bloom.

[Your pal, Wally]

It only blooms from new growth, and while it's growing like crazy and keeps making new stems out the yinyang, the cats kept sleeping on it and knocking them off.  So a few weeks ago I set it up out of the way where they can't lie on it, and everything was going wonderfully.  That is until just now, when the dog refused to use the steps for whatever reason and decided to use the stapelia as a step instead, knocking it down and rolling it across the deck   I was about to just chuck what was left into the woods and forget about it, but instead I just set it back down for the cats to sleep in again   I'm tired of potting up pieces of this thing.

[Your pal, Wally]

I went out and got a better look at it.  I guess by some miracle it was mostly old growth that got snapped off.  I don't see how, the new growths trail over the edges of the pot and it literally rolled across the deck.  Five pieces snapped off.  There's also a large branch with multiple new growths that got stressed at the joint, but it might not actually come off.  So I guess it's not as bad as I thought at first, but I'm still really bummed out.

If it ever gets to bloom, this is what it would look like http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d3/Stapelia_gigantea_flower_size.JPG  Yeah, that's sixteen motherfuckin inches across.  Most are smaller, but still very large.  And they stink.  My plant is about this size, but doesn't trail quite as much yet.  They generally bloom in the fall, so I still have a few months to wonder if it will do it or not.

So in a few days once the "cuttings" callous over I get to have yet another pot of this stuff

[SixOne]

At least your cats will have a new pot to lie in.

[Your pal, Wally]

I guess I'm going to have to rig up something and hang it from the god damn roof.  But that's going to suck because it needs pretty much full sun all day.  And it will probably get blown down the next time it storms

[Fear No Evil]

I think your doctor has antibiotics which can take care of this.

[Neffer, the irreleverent]

Greenhouse ftw.

[Your pal, Wally]

Don't I wish.  I'm too po'   If I ever get a job again maybe I'll get a little one, but I'll still have to drag plants back into the the cave for the winter.

[fnord]

What about coffee grounds, would that keep the cats away?

[Long Dong Raw, por favor]

back hand the cats

[Neffer, the irreleverent]

Don't I wish.  I'm too po'   If I ever get a job again maybe I'll get a little one, but I'll still have to drag plants back into the the cave for the winter.

Dooo eeeeet