America is fucked. With each generation we've become more pussified than the last. Do you think that the men who built the Transcontinental railroad had ever heard of a double latte? Hell no, they drank black coffe made from dirt. And they liked it!

This country it going to hell in a tub of styling gel, and everyone is too busy talking on their cell phones and driving around in little sissy cars to notice. I fear for the next generation. We're in a sorry state, and there are dark forces behind it all. I offer this:


WTF, lumberjacks don't use hair gel!

The Brawny on the left is the old Brawny. The real Brawny. What child hasn't seen that good natured face, that virile smile, that rugged outfit, and been reassured, even if just for a little while, that somewhere there's a friendly lumberjack, keeping America clean, and serving as an icon of manliness for all? Who wouldn't want to be like Brawny? I would. In a heartbeat.

The "Brawny" on the right (who will from here on out be refered to as "Scrawny") is a turd-eating androgyne who just got done playing eighteen holes of grabass before posing for his portrait. No manly facial hair, the virile smile we love so well replaced by an almost feminine smirk, clothing from Abercrombie and Fitch. What the fuck, is that hair gel? Lumberjacks do not use "product" in their hair! What the hell is going on here?

The systematic pussifiction of America is what's going on here folks. Pussification, as the name denotes, is the process by which the virility is sucked out of a man, to be replaced by a vagina, metaphorically speaking. Yes, dark forces are at work trying to change men into women! Think about this one for a minute folks. With fingerpaints, mud pies, and splashing in puddles, who makes the most messes? The little ones do. When mom buys paper towels to clean up after them, who do they see? They see Brawny's smiling face. Except now they see Scrawny's smiling face. They're marketing to children folks!

This is the old bait and switch routine. The little ones are baited with Brawny. They are given an icon on which to build preconceptions of what is normal and good. Of course they accept Brawny with open arms and open minds, who wouldn't? But then the corporations switch to Scrawny. Even though the guy looks different it still says it's Brawny, so he must be good too. Children don't judge people. Of course they'll accept the new Brawny, but they also accept the message that it's okay to be like the new Brawny.

Oh, it gets much worse folks. The human brain is a powerful computer, the programing of which is based around complex pattern recognition algorithms. This helped us to survive for thousands of years when bears and wolves and such would hide and try to catch us at unawares to make a meal of us. Our brains still work in much the same way today. We see shapes in the clouds, or in inkblot tests, because that's the way our brains work. We're hardwired that way. Obviously shapes play a vital role in how we perceive something, and advertisers know this very well. They have spent billions of dollars to come up with new and crafty ways to play us against ourselves. I offer this:


The advertisers are ruthless in their exploitation of both mind and body.

Yes, you're seeing that correctly folks. Brawny's text is shaped like an erect phallus, while Scrawny's is shaped like a flaccid one. This seeks to undermine thousands of years of natural selection, and weaken us as a species. Again, it's the old bait and switch routine. We're offered Brawny, with his manly traits and emblazoned with his erect phallus text. Then we're switched to Scrawny, with his androgynous traits and his limp-dick text. The message is clear: That pretty boys with womanly traits are to be prefered over men of normally enviable virility. We're all being used here folks. It's quite likely that Georgia Pacific (An ironic name, Georgia being thousands of miles from the Pacific) has been infiltrated and are merely tools themselves of a much darker and more organized purpose. The identity of this group will be revealed at a later time, when the Triad deems the public ready for the shocking truth.

If these images, as compelling as they are, are not enough, then I would direct your attention to Brawny's website. Click on the section entitled "Innocent Escapes" to see why it's not so innocent, and certainly not an escape, but a mind trap. I warn you, your values and virility will be accosted.

Our values as a society, and even our future as a species is being undermined by dark forces, taking the guise of advertising agencies and corporations. The future is now. What are you going to do about it?

When zombies attack, your hair gel won't save you!